Kitten Wars 1/7/15: A Kitten and Her Bag Will Soon Be Parted …

Cleo decided to investigate this over-sized bag as a possible nest for a kitty in heat. It crinkled happily and all was good until she decided to back out. Her paw caught on the handle, trapping the poor kitty inside. In great efforts to escape she made the bag go air born over and over again until she flipped it upside down and raced off.

Cleo decoded to investigate this oversized bag as a possible nest for a kitty in heat. It crinkled happily and all was good until she decided to back out. Her paw caught on the handle, trapping the poor kitty inside. In great efforts to escape  she made the bag go air born over and over again until she flipped it upside down and raced off.

Kitten Wars: Ninja Kitty and the Art of Being Picked Up

The cats have decided that they will take turns in claiming which human they will deign to show their affection. I’m guessing it is because I am generally quietly relaxing on the sofa, that I get Miss Sofa Shoulder Cat (Teeny) much more frequently than my son who is a constant motion machine. This frustrates him because he wants to pet Teeny and love all over her, but just won’t slow down enough to do so most days. So he picks her up, a lot, which she absolutely does not like and will loudly voice her opinion about on most days.

Teeny will actually tell him off for quite a while when he picks her up. She has this little purrupt meow that she uses quite extensively in multiple sounds and ranges to convey her extreme dislike of being picked up. But, my son is not one to be discouraged. Every day, he picks her up for 5-10 minutes at least 5 times a day during the week and more over the weekends. I’m guessing that he is wearing her down, slowly. She no longer trots off to parts unknown or to the area behind my shoulders on the couch when she sees him coming. She has even not chewed him out about it a few times. So this is progress. She knows he won’t drop her, at least.

Cleo on the other hand has taken to hunting anything that could possibly move in the house. And, quite frankly, even if it doesn’t move, and she can figure out a way to make it move, she does. This includes but is definitely not exclusive to single pieces of toilet paper, nerf darts, pieces of clothing, toy discs, and anything else that she believes can be hunted.

Recently, my son has been shooting off his nerf disc gun much to Cleo’s delight. He has not figured out that the reason he keeps losing his discs is because the cat hijacks them as soon as she finds them. He will go searching for them immediately after shooting them. Counting them up, he gets annoyed when he can’t find one. Then out of the corner of my eye, I spy Cleo. There is the little tuxedo ninja kitty with a disc in her mouth as she trots off to parts hidden from view to play with and stalk her prey once more.

After she has played with her new toy to her delight, she will come out of hiding and love all over my son. I’m sure that she is thanking him for her new toy, begging him to give her more.

…And Everything in its Place

I’m a teacher. In my classroom I have a table that works as my main teaching space. Beside my table I place a trash can for all of the scraps from the various activities I do with my students. Every day, when I leave my classroom, my trash can is resting beside my chair. When I return in the morning, this is where I find it …

 

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Kitten Wars 9/17/14 The Pounce is Strong in This One

I came home to one very playful kitty (Cleo) and one very affectionate cat (Teeny). Now, Teeny has only recently become an affectionate every day cat. For the last week she has begun waking me at 6 AM, whether I want to get up or not, by coming up to my face, bumping it, purring, and prrruupping at me until I either get up or move her away. If you haven’t had a determined cat before, well, let me tell you, moving Teeny away is no easy feat. Oh, you can pick her up and place her off the bed, on the other side of the bed, etc while remaining under the covers. This does not deter her in the least when she wants you to get up. She knows when my alarm should go off and is determined that I get up out of my cozy nest of blankets. No amount of moving her, removing her, or discouraging her work other than placing her on the other side of the bedroom door. But, then she begins scratching at the door until you let her back in. So its either get up or have one affectionate cat all over you until you do get up because you simply cannot breathe with all of her bunny fur in your face.

But, I digress. Cleo was in a very playful mood when I got home and was gleefully pouncing on everything that moved and some that didn’t. If a shoe lace fell, Cleo attacked. If the shadow moved, Cleo attacked. If Teeny shifted her eyes, Cleo … attacked. When Teeny first came into my home in June, she was a grumpy grande dame who generally hissed at anything that she didn’t like. There were days when I believed that all she knew how to do was hiss and spit, run and hide. Those days, I am glad to say, are long gone. When Cleo attacked Teeny, rolling her over, Teeny rolled over and continued walking over to get her rub. Cleo attacked again, pouncing over Teeny this time and was completely ignored by the cat on a mission.

So, Cleo changed tactics. Instead of wrestling and pouncing, she decided to batt at Teeny’s ear tufts. Maybe this new maneuver would gain her the attention she craved. Teeny leveled a look on Cleo that any teacher would have been proud to own, stuck her paw on Cleo’s head and pressed down much in the manner of the Pope when he is blessing someone. I got the feeling she was telling Cleo something important. So Cleo backed up a tiny bit to rethink what she was doing, but when Teeny prepared to leap up to the bathroom counter, she just couldn’t control herself any longer. As Teeny’s back hips quivered in the “jump ready” stance, Cleo pounced for all she was worth. The two wrestled for a few moments, then Teeny, pinned Cleo with her paw and put her nose on Cleo’s, looking her directly in the eyes. Momentarily mesmerized, Cleo lay there just long enough for Teeny to make the leap to the counter to get her rub.

Kitten Wars: Of Night Humans and Morning Cats …. 9/14/14

This morning I learned the difference between the Night Human and the Morning Cat. I went to bed sometime after midnight or closer to one after napping on the couch a bit. Teeny does not usually bother me on the couch other than to lay within hand’s reach for the occasional pet and scritch. However, when I went to bed well, that’s another matter. You see, my grande dame considers my bed hers. Actually I believe the bed is split into sections. The dog has the foot of it. Cleo sleeps under it. Teeny has the top when she deigns to sleep there.

But last night, I did the unthinkable. I put away all kitty food. That meant NO early morning snacking for the cats. Oh, wow, that was not the answer on the morning that I wanted to sleep in. At 4 or 5 Teeny decided to tell me all about it through and intense drum session in the litter box. Calling her name forcefully was not nearly threatening enough to get her to stop. I had to get up, out of my warm nest of blankets, and stand in a relatively cold room before she raced out. We went through a few of these over the next hour before the sleepy human realized that she could lock the cat out of the room. Well, that was not a kosher idea according to the cat.

She just started soft paw clawing at the door once she realized that the door to her domain was shut! So I reached around my door and blocked her stretching post (door frame) with the laundry basket. Unable to make the wond’rous sounds that she knows drives me nuts, she started her soft purr-meow which got Cleo to come out from under the bed to then soft paw the door from the inside. I think by this time it was close to 7 AM. I gave up and opened the door for the cats. They left the room and began playing somewhere else. Thank goodness Cleo distracted Teeny!

Photo: The morning cat, herself.

The Next 9 Minutes

Some days I crack my eyes and wonder

Why is this thing yelling at me?

Telling me to rise ,

Get out of my warm, cozy nest

Go to work!

Then my hand finds the snooze

…Bliss…

For the next 9 minutes.

Kitten Wars, the Waking Edition 8/29/14

Ok, Teeny decided to let me sleep in this morning. She did not do a scratch solo last night at all. I guess a few nights ejected from my room did a little good there.  However, she truly does understand that when the alarm goes off that I should get up. So, this morning, when I hit the snooze, like I always do EVERY morning, she decided that she would instead drum on my stomach, back and arms. This is NOT to be confused with kneading in any manner. This is a fairly hard cat paw hitting in a definite rhythm. Tap, Tap, Tap, Tap  (on the stomach) Push the cat away sleepily…. Tap Tap Tap Tap (on my arm since I rolled a little) Push the cat further away this time Tap Tap Tap Tap (on my back since I rolled all the way over) Set the cat off the bed and glare at the alarm. It only went off 2 minutes ago!

Kitten Wars the Musical Edition 8/28/14

It would seem that I have a VERY musical cat. Teeny enjoys what can only be described as Percussion instruments in the Oh dark thirty realm of night.Sometime between 3-5 AM she has taken up the art of the litter box scratch. Now during the day, she is very silent with this one, but in the wee hours of the morning, must be her performance time. Not the normal scratch and run is she. Oh, no. Teeny must scratch the walls as loudly as possible, making the sound echo not only in the box where she is but also in the bathroom. When shooed out of it, she waits, then comes back about a minute later. But, I have developed a way to alleviate this a bit. Each night she is no longer allowed in the bedroom. Her litter box is placed outside the room as well with a crate blocking my door so she can’t scratch it instead. Fortunately for me, she has not added the Climb and Scratch technique to her percussive talents.

The Espresso Trade

This is an entry in WOEGMAN’s TTT challenge. The challenge was to write something in an alternate reality in 1000 words or less. This comes in at 994. I hope you enjoy it.

 

The petals drifted down, coating the pavement with the fragility of spring covering what was left of the evidence. Watching from behind The Times, a grin crept across his granite before he closed up shop and the vid uploaded. Pulling the umbrella down, he packed away his goods and pushed the cart down the path. Another successful experiment filmed in the park.

****************

“Yo boss! Vinny didn’t make checkpoint!” Joe Pettigucci glared at the bridge in Central Park where his muscle should have walked. A chill danced down his neck stiffening his spine. This was the fourth pick up that’d disappeared this week. Soon the boys were gonna take vengeance. It wouldn’t be pretty.

Joe walked the route. He went over Gapstow Bridge by the Pond passing picnics and people just lazing about. The Victorian Gardens were blooming as he continued on around making his way towards East Drive. Vinny would have walked right through here, but there wasn’t even the slightest notion of a man that big along the path.

Making his way to the street, a flurry of pink blossoms circled his legs while the scent of burned coffee wafted around him. As he looked down, a small piece of gold winked up from a small pile of ashes. Kneeling, he picked up the crucifix Mama Leo had given Vinny when he joined The Family.

“Gooch, what’cha got there? Anything Cap’d like to see?” Matt, one of the boys in blue, reached over to take the crucifix, but Joe held fast.

“It’s nothin’, just an old crucifix from Mama. Must’a fallen outta my pocket.” Joe put it away before Matt decided to grab for it.

“Cap’s getting worried, Gooch. Don’t like it when Cap’s upset. Things break.”

“We’ll get it to him. Just give us time.”

“24 hours, Gooch, 24 hours.”

Joe waited until Matt was out of hearing. “Boss, gotta make it happen, fast.”

***************************

It was almost complete. The tests had gone well. So far the formula disintegrated everything except metal. That wasn’t a loss, just annoying. Social media was running with the videos, swearing they were fake which suited him. A few of the more intelligent were trying to figure out where he was filming, but no one had caught on, yet. When he was ready, he’d make his demands. The Big Apple would either recognize his brilliance or disintegrate.

Pushing his cart down the path, he chose his next site carefully, waiting for one of the “boys” to walk by before he raised his umbrella. He nodded, friendly-like to the joggers and walkers alike until he was ready. It was almost time for the next delivery to come through. Looking out beneath his brows, he grinned.

*************************

“I’ve got it, boss. It’s in The Briefcase.” Joe picked up the leather coated metal and Kevlar reinforced case. He wound the band around his wrist securing it before setting his shoulders. The route firmly in his head, he started out.

The first checkpoint was by the bridge where he had to pick up a paper, tuck it beneath his arm. Turning to walk past, Joe watched the old man sit down and lay the paper down, discarding it. Picking it up, Joe nodded to the man, then moved on down the path. The key to the document would be in the help wanted section.

The second checkpoint was under the cherry tree as he turned to East Drive. There he was to pick up a specific edition of “Gentleman’s Quarterly” from the vendor before making his way to the street. A small package was stashed within its pages under the guise of a free sample. Once he crossed that street, he’d be home free.

Off to the left of the path, just barely on the pavement was the vendor. It was old Granite face. He got that name when his face hit the granite one too many times leaving pockmarks, permanently. Some say he was a promising chemist years ago that the boys in blue punished for not creating a coffee substitute fast enough.

Who knew? With coffee being on the critically endangered list, it was against international law to harvest the beans, much less brew a cup of joe. Espresso was out of the picture. Starbuck’s died four years ago when the bean crisis first hit. The boys were twitching from the world-wide shortage, willing to pay big for anyone willing to cross the Colombian border to bring some back. Granted having the beans and knowing how to roast ‘em for the perfect brew were two different things. That’s where The Family came into play.

Joe looked over at the vendor. Granite Face reached behind a pile of magazines to pull one out, put it on the side of the rack. Opening up the drinks case, he pulled out a soda and offered to Joe with what he thought was a smile as he came over. With his wallet in hand, Joe paid the man then took the soda and the copy of “Gentleman’s Quarterly” with him. He folded it up with the newspaper before continuing along the route to the drop-off. Every sense on alert. Walking the walk of beans was risky. Too many unreformed coffee junkies waiting for a chance.

But junkies weren’t the problem this time, it was something else, something sinister that was hitting only The Family, but that would have to wait. The delivery was first or their credibility was gonna suffer. Joe stuck the coke in his pocket for later as he left the park and strode to the waiting car. Getting in, he handed over the paperwork that had directions for the perfect brewing machine plus a free sample of the product. Cap stuck his pinky into the rich brown granules and tasted the dark espresso that only The Family could provide, then nodded his head for Joe to hand over the case. One more happy Cop in the Espresso Trade.

Kitten Wars 8/24/14

I learned something very important in the cat world today. A lone folded towel in the middle of the dining room table is fight worthy for queen of the table rights. Cleo who usually never jumps on the table saw the towel from the couch and bounced over to it. Teeny who knew it was there but had basically ignored it, saw Cleo jumping to the table and instantly went to investigate. Much silent tussling and cat wrestling occurred until Cleo won the towel. Mind you they were on top of the towel during the entire event and not once did it come unfolded! Another of the cat mysteries, I’m sure. After all, it wouldn’t make a very good bed unfolded!

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