The loss of one too young

04 Sep 2014 4 Comments

by Quietude's Junction in journal, reflections Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

This morning before work, I found out that I lost a student. As a teacher, I become very attached to the kids I teach, but this one was more special than most. He was one of my troubled babies, but never call him baby to his face. In his eyes he was a man, and probably had been a man in his house for several years despite only being a teenager. He came from a shattered home and was familiar with the judicial system from an early age. He had a smart mouth, quick wit, and despite all the nastiness that life had dealt him, a closely guarded soft heart. He didn’t let many people in to know that he was secretly a really nice kid living a very bad life. There was not a mean thought or bone in his body, but he had a bad reputation from the time he was about 10 years old. The trouble was from home not being stable.

As adults we think of home as a place of comfort, love, sharing, and safety. He had none of those. From the earliest years he was exposed to drugs, sex, alcohol, and all types of abuse verbal, physical, and mental. He didn’t have a single place to call home. Instead he was shipped between places to live with relatives whenever his welcome was worn thin at whichever school he was currently attending. He was called a “behavior case”, and I admit that he couldn’t keep still or control of his mouth when he wasn’t medicated, which was frequently. Every teacher could tell on the days that he had taken his meds. On those days he was a bright student with a curious mind. He offered opinions, information, and help willingly. He wanted to share, but all of the experiences with the dark days of no medicine got in the way. People didn’t trust him to be the “good” kid that he could be. After a while it became easier to just be the bad kid and to stop trying on the days when his medicine was not available.

He was a very creative kid. He had ideas that he wanted to do and could plan them out. He knew people better than anyone would have expected. When I did a project with all of my students, he created the best out of all of them. Unlike the other boys who created male oriented toys, this boy created toys that girls would love. When I asked him why he did what he did, he said simply, “Girls love hearts. I hope my toys go to little girls who will love them.” I just about cried that day.

As I said, I lost him. He died in a motorcycle accident. Rumors have already started as to why he was on a bike during school hours. Most say he was skipping school or suspended. Some kids who knew him well though, are saying that he was running away, that life had finally dealt him a hand that he couldn’t deal with anymore. No matter what was going through his head, I hope that he finds peace, love, and joy where he is now. No kid deserves the life he was dealt.

Bright and Shiny, Fresh and Filled with Hope

10 Aug 2014 Leave a comment

by Quietude's Junction in journal, teaching Tags: , , , , , ,

The new year began on Wednesday and the students all came with their excited faces and laughter. They brought energy to the freshly remodeled school that had remained empty over the months of summer. With them came the actual heat of summer as Georgia has had an unseasonably cool June and July. As they trotted, skipped, and danced their way around the fresh paint and the workers still making the “final” adjustments all of the flaws from the tired old school of last year faded away making this truly a new year.

Last year we were forced to become accustomed to a school that had no ceiling tiles, wires hanging all over the place, and a depth of dust from the remodeling that no one should ever be required to be around. We came back from Christmas 2013 to find our school a shadow of what it had been with all of its assorted guts beginning to show. By the end of 2013-2014 we knew intimately the innards of our school and it was not pretty. Its strange how that became the accepted norm while bringing all of our morale down despite any attempts at the hope of the fresh school of the future. By the end of May we were all trudging along, frantically sorting, chucking, and packing all of our belongings so that the workers could get to their main work while wondering what they had been doing since January if summer was to be their main work. Admittedly, tempers were short, sleep was even shorter. More fights broke out than normal. The students truly didn’t understand why they were constantly upset, but it was the tiredness of their surroundings, the feeling of hopelessness from the dirt, the dust, the wires, and everything else weighing upon them. As a faculty and a school, summer could not get there fast enough.

So, coming back to this new school, and it is a NEW school, with its bright paint, tiled floor, and new classrooms with shiny equipment, is a true blessing. The students feel the hope that is there and are building from it. May this year continue in its cheer, its laughter, and its fun.